I recently attended a guided meditation on the topic of ‘understanding others.’ I’ll be honest, I am someone who who gets frustrated very easily by the behaviour of others but I would keep quiet and dwell on it instead of just addressing it with them. Then it would get to the point where it would affect my mindset causing me to feel resentful. A vicious circle really.
I’m an empath- so I feel the emotions of others and I am also very intuitive, so if I know my words will upset someone then I stay silent. I’m not a people pleaser but I am too aware of the feelings of others. This has meant that I have often found myself in situations or conversations where I would feel uncomfortable by someones unpleasant behaviour but unable to address it with them, causing me anxiety in the process.
The guided meditation focused on putting ourselves in the shoes of others and taking a minute to understand why they act the way they do, and how to deal with it. This is a work in progress for me, and I don’t want to psycho-analyze everyone but I do think that it is important to be mindful of why someone acts a certain way.
I think it’s important to be open and to say “Your behaviour has really upset me and I would like to talk to you about it” or “This situation has made me feel……” because if we aren’t opening that line of communication then we can’t expect them to understand our frustration.
I have actually done this a long time ago with a good friend and it didn’t end well, however it soon made me realise that we had grown apart, she couldn’t accept my boundries and the friendship had become very toxic and not a relationship which I wanted to continue. I now have a small circle of friends who are incredible, inspirational and who bring me joy every single day.
So my top tips for dealing with other people’s mistakes and unpleasant behaviour?
- Have a simple chat, be open-minded and ask them how life is. There might be something going on which is causing a change in their behaviour
- Be mindful of their circumstances. Maybe they have money worries, health concerns or struggling in other ways
- Listen and don’t react immediately
- Set boundries, if you feel that they aren’t respecting these then talk it over
- Don’t feel guilty for ending a toxic friendship or relationship
- How does being around them make you feel? Energised? happy? or drained?
How do you deal with unpleasant behaviour?