Dating can be tough; finding someone who lives locally who you click with can be much harder than you would think. This, combined with dating apps that enable you to search far and wide for the perfect mate has made long-distance dating more common than ever.
If you’re currently doing the long-distance dating thing, and you want it to work well for you, here are a few tips you might find useful:
When you’re dating long-distance, it’s really important that you set very clear boundaries so you both know what you expect from each other. For example, you may want to make it clear whether you expect exclusivity or not, how much privacy you require, and when it is and is not a good time to talk. You will have your own boundaries, so consider what you need carefully, and be sure to communicate them clearly to the person you’re dating.
Don’t let it stop you from living life
When you’re dating long-distance, it can be a good idea to act like you’re single. I don’t mean that you should carry on seeing other people if that is not what you have agreed, but that you should not prevent yourself from going out and having fun just because your date is far away. You need to live your life, so whether your spouse is right beside you or miles away, don’t be afraid to go out and have fun with friends or do whatever activities you normally would when single. You only have one life, so live it and if your date guilts you about not constantly being available at the end of a phone, you may want to rethink the whole thing!
Don’t wait too long between meetings
Talking on Facetime can only do so much for you, so ideally, you should try not to leave it more than 3 months before you see each other in the flesh. This is not so long that you cannot wait, and meeting up again will be all the sweeter after the time you have spent apart.
Think about the future
Does the relationship have a future? There is little point in continuing to date someone long-distance long-term if doesn’t work for you, and if, for example, you will want them to move closer to you in the future. Will they be able to get a spouse visa extension to live with you long-term? Will they even want to uproot themselves? Do they want children? Do you? Which culture do you want to raise your potential children in? These may seem like heavy questions to ask, but once you’ve been dating for a while, you will need to address them eventually.
Between meetings, be sure to schedule a weekly date night so you can update each other on your lives, bond and keep the connection alive. Dress up, make an effort, and be your best self, even if you are just sitting on your couch over Zoom!